food and makeup, the strangest collaboration

There have been some very strange collaborations of this century. Lil Nas X and RM? Cheetos and bagels with cream cheese (OK this one gives me Midwest middle school vibes)? Elon Musk and Grimes? Man oh man the list goes on. However, something that I have always found extremely weird is the constant combination of makeup and food.

Listen, we’re not kids walking through Kohl’s mesmerized by Jessica Simpson’s edible cosmetics, which by the way, were probably full of chemicals and additives. I’m a grown adult woman, so you don’t need to try to entice me with food to get me to buy makeup. I look like a zombie without it, and will continue to purchase cosmetics regardless if it smells like pineapples or chocolate.

It actually kind of repulses me when makeup smells like food, because it makes me think it will go bad, rot, or attract ants. But I must be wrong, because the masses seem to adore makeup products modeled after food. That’s how chocolate eye shadow palettes, strawberry face masks, and pastry inspired lipsticks came about. Or maybe, it’s just an appeal to your younger, whimsical self, and being like seventy three and using cupcake lip gloss makes you feel like you’re sixteen again.

I hate matte lipsticks because they dry my lips out. My lips get all crackly and gross, and most go on patchy and lumpy, but this matte lipstick is phenomenal. It’s opaque, goes on smooth, and literally lasts all day. It’s survived greasy pasta meals, sparkling water, and french fries, so color me impressed. The formula is smooth and the lipstick dries to a comfortable wear, not like you’re wearing spackle on your lips.

I will say though, to pick a color you really love because once you put this lipstick on, it is not going anymore. The tubes are colored plastic, which honestly annoys me a little with lipsticks because I like looking at their color in the tube, and the lipstick smells like frosting because they’re “macarons,” but beggars can’t be choosers. An opaque lipstick that doesn’t budge and stays all day with comfortable wear, that’s also under 8 bucks? Come on, you can google swatches and deal with the weird smell.

I’ve also learned that drugstore products almost always have a trade-off, but that’s part of life. I tell myself that with the $17 from not buying high-end that I can buy kittens or something like that. But seriously this product is GOOD. I get tons of compliments and people tell me they love my lipstick.

ps my favorite is praline de paris. Which I bought on accident because I meant to pick up the rose one. The universe intervenes though.

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